Hibernation is officially over. You are hereby ordered to go check your tires and chain and get out of your house at least once this month on your bike. In order to make this easier for you, I’ve written up a glorified version of my personal calendar for the next month, including tons of events: zine readings, bike races, dance parties, underground dinners, and shows everywhere from rock clubs to underground venues to record stores. Despite the fact there’s still snow on the ground, there’s more than enough to keep you busy all through March and into early April, and it all starts Friday evening at our Pizza Party.
FRIDAY, MARCH 7TH
Tiny Fix Pizza Party We’re kicking things off at 8pm, and I personally plan to drink my way through an entire six pack of India Pale Ale from Crown Liquor’s flickering coolers while murdering slice after slice of delicious pizza and catching up with all the Tiny Fixers, fans, and friends I’ve missed so much this winter. I hope to see you there.
SATURDAY, MARCH 8TH
The Hideout SXSW Send Off Party featuring Radar Eyes, KINS, Outer Minds, Bailiff, Bonzie, Jon Langford & Skull Orchard, Absolutely Not, Basic Cable, Marrow, Ryley Walker, Wrekmeister Harmonies. Basic Cable borrows two members from well-established local band Running but cuts out some of the stoner prog doom, choosing to smash out bad attitude punk that makes you want to throw mostly-empty beer cans in the air and stumble your way blindly through a sweaty, bad smelling pit. Their new LP on Permanent Records, I’m Good to Drive, is pressed on beer-colored vinyl and features cover art by drummer/gig poster artist/tattoo-covered cutie Ryan Duggan. It fucking slays.Read More
You can buy this impractical pizza cutter here.
Tiny Fix’s Pizza Party is this Friday!
Where: Dante’s Pizzeria in Avondale at 2825 N Milwaukee (not the original Armitage location!)
When: Friday, March 7th, 8 pm -11 pm
What Do I Need: They take cash and cards and you can buy beer a few doors down at Crown Liquor. It’s just a meet up, not a ride, so we don’t really care if you bike.
Why should I come? Um, because you’re cool and you like to have fun? There’s gonna be beer and pizza there, dude. Why aren’t you convinced yet?
I can’t wait to see you jerks! Go RSVP on Facebook and be sure to come out and say hi!Read More
John Burke, President of Trek Bicycle Corp decided to grace his audience of Chicago business people with his wisdom yesterday morning. According to Burke, obese people are bad for business what with their health insurance costs and all. He further asserts that his overweight employees shouldn’t be his company’s responsibility “Because seriously, if people don’t care about their health, why should companies be paying for it?” Aside from being incredibly callous, Mr. Burke clearly doesn’t understand obesity. A quote from this DNAinfo article demonstrates this: To help employees stay healthy and keep the weight off, Burke on Wednesday outlined the mandatory eight-step wellness program he recently introduced at the 1,000-employee company, which he said has “changed lives.” Maybe before making such comments Mr. Burke should read some of the pile of evidence about how fat-shaming people doesn’t work and can even make them gain more weight, such as this or this or this.
Dear Mr. Burke,
Being fat doesn’t mean I don’t give a shit about my health. I actually really wish I could afford to buy fresh produce all year. Even so, I like to eat pizza, I like drinking beer. I know that neither one of those things is particularly good for me, but WHY DOES THIS MATTER? See the thing about being fat is: it doesn’t guarantee you have adverse health effects. Actually, being conventionally thin doesn’t guarantee freedom from health problems down the line (heart disease, high cholesterol and osteoporosis to name a few). If you’d like further proof that obesity doesn’t guarantee terrible health and can be healthier than just being thin, read this article, check out this website, or watch this video. Being skinny isn’t a magic bullet any more than being fat is the cause of all ills. SorryNotSorry you have to provide health coverage for all of your employees.
I really liked my Trek, but I don’t know how I can stand to ride it when you think so little of me. Thanks for alienating me!Read More
Like any cyclist who has almost been hit or doored by cop cars, I have a complicated personal relationship with the Chicago Police Department. I’ve had cops flirt with me, and paternalistically check on me to make sure I was ok when I was being hit on at a bus stop. An officer once leaned out of an SUV window and sing-songed “Somebody wants to get hiiii-iiiit” when I merged across lanes to turn without signaling or lights. I’ve also squatted painfully on streetcorners, crying and scared and sore and shaking with adrenaline, waiting to report that I’d been hit-and-run to a police officer who never came.
I am very aware that my contact with the CPD, while not exactly positive, has been incredibly influenced by my privileged status as a a relatively educated and wealthy, ambiguously mixed-race resident of the northwest side. Cook County’s law enforcement and incarceration system uses prison as a substitute for mental health care, makes it more difficult for children on the South Side to stay in school through disproportionate targeting of minority youth, and profiles innocent citizens who are allegedly statistically more likely to be involved in a violent crime. In tandem with societal factors such as income inequality and segregation, these practices ensure that people of color in disadvantaged neighborhoods have less opportunity and are more likely to experience arrest, incarceration, and violence.
Tiny Fix believes in social justice, and we believe in Chicago. These flaws in the city we love are impossible to ignore, and require the cooperation of all of its citizens to move to a more just future. Below, you’ll find information about a number of local organizations dedicated to reforming the prison system and developing community-based alternatives to the system of policing and incarceration. We hope that you’ll take the time to learn more about this issue and get involved.Read More
Ok, it’s still cold as fuck, and you’re going to want to ride out the rest of the endless winter in sweatshirt and fleece pajama pants. You have no idea how many concerts, parties, and booty calls I’ve passed up this winter to watch 1950s scare movies about teenage girl gangs while wrapped up in blankets and my favorite sweat shirt. It helps with the S.A.D. if your pajama wear is at least a little snappy, like this sweatshirt from Mash SF.
Dark 25L Backpack – $45
Dakine isn’t really a brand you hear about too often, because they mostly make mountain/camping/ski gear and presumably that’s all dorky or ill suited to cycling, but they’re actually a super tight mountain biking company and this cute little patterned backpack would be great for urban commuter use.
Twin Six Jesus T – $12
So I said to the Lord, “You promised me Lord, that if I followed you, you would bike with me always. But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life, there have only been one set of tire marks in the sand. Why, when I needed you most, have you have not been there for me?”
The Lord replied, “The times when you have seen only one set of tire marks, is when you drafted me.”
Fox Womens Flygirl Jersey – $54.95
Ok, I know what you’re thinking. Fox is synonymous with those burly jock assholes in your high school with rich dads who bought them dirtbikes, who had frosted hair and girlfriends who teased you. But this is a legit four-way-stretch jersey with three rear pockets that looks like a normal shirt. It even has an “Interior Optics Wipe” on the inside hem, for all my fellow four-eyed motherfuckers.
Confidential to girls who ride their bikes to work: throw a black cardigan over this, and you’ll be business casual. No one needs to know it’s soaked in sweat.
I’m pretty into “babe” as a genderneutral term. See also: cuties, dudes, and “all y’all motherfuckers.” Genderfuck the english language, y’all.Read More
I’ve missed my buddy Mike ever since the much missed dive bar Cal’s closed.Thankfully, he’s opening up a full-service bike shop at 688 N Milwaukee, Ancien Cycles, that will also include a bar and coffee shop. Get a sneak peek tonight at 6pm at the 17th annual Bike Winter Art Show opening. On Friday the 28th, come back for the closing reception and bike winter fashion show.
After 16 years of pedaling from gallery to gallery, it seems fitting our gypsy Bike Winter Art Show would land at a bike shop. Of course, we wouldn’t pick just any ordinary bike shop, and our hosts at Ancien Cycles are destined to become a social hub for the many thousands that bike along our beloved Hipster Highway every day.
For opening night Fri Feb 21, we will focus on the bike art and provide snacks and drinks for a couple hundred cyclists looking for a chance to get un-layered and hang out.
On Fri …Feb 28, we will amp things up for a night of bike fashion, music, and dancing – stay tuned for details.