Don’t Drive Like a Dickweed: 10 Rules for All Drivers

It may very well be that writing a How Not To Kill Cyclists With Your Car article on a bike website won’t really reach the intended audience. But hey, the last time we used the word dickweed in a title the article blew up, so here’s hoping.

Me to drivers
Me, to drivers

Drivers need to learn how to behave around cyclists. And before you think I can’t possibly know how hard it is to drive a car with swarms of cyclists bobbing and weaving all around you, you should know that I own a car and I do drive it in the city (though not much these days). So here goes.

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Gearcrush: Pure Purist Edition

Mythical State of Jefferson Permanent Brovet Water Bottle – $10

Specialized’s Purist water bottles are the standard among cyclists the world over. Nobody wants a bottle so stiff that you can’t dump cold water over your head during a long ride, or a funky plastic that leeches off-flavors and harmful chemicals into your water. But you still want to look cool while you’re cooling off, and so today I’m posting a round up of the most coveted bottles out there.

Tenafly Bicycle Workshop Rastafari Race Limited Edition Water Bottle – $12

Please note that water bottles are an item that small companies and teams will order one limited edition bulk order of; when they’re sold out, they’re sold out.

LOOK! Save A Life Purist Water Bottle – $10

So if there’s a bottle out there you like, I suggest buying it. All of these bottles are still available as of publication. If I was allowing myself to select waterbottles you can’t buy anymore, this would be all Johnny Hsu designs and the Gage + Desoto Sriracha classic.

Poler Bike Water Bottle – $12

I also suggest not paying more than $15 tops, for a design you love. As you’ll see, most Purist bottles are priced between ten and twelve. I’ve seen teams charge up to $20, and that’s cool or whatever, but I’m not including those in the roundup because that is horseshit highway robbery.

And if you’ve been relying on drinking before and after rides, let me tell you how wonderful a water bottle is during the summer. I dropped my kewl streamlined fixie standardz and put a water bottle cage on my bike and life was never the same. I am actually hungover way less often because I’m not incredibly dehydrated all the time, and I save money at the bar because I can just drink water instead of reflexively ordering another beer. Waterbottles are not just for roadies doing long rides! It’s also for lazy fuck-ups who ride their bike to and from shows at The Empty Bottle and carboload on Peanut Butter Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

Gage + Desoto Summertime Purist Bottle – $9.95

Longtime messenger/mountain biker and friend of Tiny Fix Josh Trippz sent in this tip: fill a semi-filled bottle of water and freeze it. Try tucking it into a back pocket of your jersey for a little homebrew air conditioning on those sweaty days.

Stay hydrated, duders.

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Bandit Cross: Night Moves August 22nd (MPLS)


Bike Jerks are throwing yet another bandit cross event in Minneapolis! Peep the Facebook event here and get ready for some fun in the dark.

Friday, August 22nd
Minnehaha Falls Dog Park, Minneapolis
Facebook event

Cross season is right around the corner so it’s time to start cranking up the Bandit Cross fun machine, our second Bandit Cross of the season will take place next Friday August 22nd.
It will feature a revamped and expanded Night Moves course, get stoked, get pumped, get your butts down there.  We’ll have a fire and possibly swimming (weather permitting) after.

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Pigeon Cat Alleycat + Party-be-cue is THIS SUNDAY!


That’s right, it’s all going down this weekend! Check out the Facebook event for…pretty much the same info I’m going to write below, but it’ll prop up our insecurity if we see more people have RSVP’d.

This is quick and dirty alleycat from the Tiny Fix babes in the action-packed run-up to Cuttin Crew Classic and NACCC. No activities, points, or manned checkpoints; just a self-guided tour of Chicago’s raddest sculptures and monuments, then a beer-soaked and food-filled barbecue.

Bring $5 and your bike to the weird white tooth sculpture on the north side of Logan Boulevard (Logan and Rockwell?) at 3pm this Sunday. The race starts at 4pm sharp.

First person to drop their manifest at the ending BBQ gets the cash prize. First female who isn’t the grand prize winner gets a BFF Bikes gift certificate and water bottle.

All the losers get hella bbq, beer, and party times! Text Cupcake at 312-775-CAKE if you can’t make the race and just want details on the party.

Facebook event

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Cuttin Crew Classic 2014: Thunder Road to NACCC: August 22-28

Chicago Cuttin Crew Classic 2011
Photo from Cuttin Crew Classic 2011 by Chris Dilts

This year, the North American Cycle Courier Championships will be held in the land of Grain Belt, Pizza Luce, and hidden swimming holes: Minneapolis. Here in Chicago, our very own Cuttin Crew will be helping you gear up for the showdown of the century with a hot weekend of racing and a supported group ride to glory across the Midwest.

Details, locations, et cetera are still spotty so make sure you check in on the Facebook event often to keep updated!

Friday, August 22nd

7:00 PM: Crosstown Hustle

$5 Re-vamp of the CMWC 2012 alley cat with a little twist!

9:00 PM: CBMA After Party

Brag about how you won the crosstown, shoot some dice, and drink some booze. location TBA.

Chicago Cuttin Crew Classic 2011
Photo from Cuttin Crew Classic 2011 by Chris Dilts

Saturday, August 23rd

10:00 AM – 12:00 PM” Registration

Bring $15, your bike, and your inflated sense of self-worth to 4-Star Courier Collective and get yourself registered for the big show!

12:00 PM: Group ride to Main Race

Chicago Cuttin Crew Classic 2011
Photo from Cuttin Crew Classic 2011 by Chris Dilts

12:30 PM: Main Race Start

3:30 PM: Main Race Finish

Tiny Fixers KC & Lorena Cupcake at CMWC Messenger Prom 2012.

Messenger Prom 8pm-You Can’t Handle Anymore

DJ’s, booze, dancing, and prizes. Prom King. Prom Queen. Best Dressed. Crosstown. Main Race. Most Professional. DFL. Bring your freshest gear and party like you’re not about to ride a few hundred miles through the Midwest to compete in the NACCC…

Sunday, August 24th

Begin the journey to the NACCC….

We will be providing you with vehicle support to carry all your belongings each day until we make it to MPLS, as well as to assist you if for any reason you can’t get to camp (bike mechanicals, injury, etc). There will be campsites provided, but you are responsible for your camping gear (sleeping bag, tent, etc).

Each rider will receive a route map for the day and details about the campsites. We will try and provide some food along the way, but bring money for groceries to bring back to camp. Part of our route scouting involves making sure there are places to get food along the way.

There is NO REGISTRATION FEE FOR THE RIDE. However, if you plan on doing the ride PLEASE RSVP to nico@fourstarcourier re: Group Ride so we know how many people we will be looking to accommodate.

Stay tuned over the next couple weeks as we will be posting the route as well as things like grocery stores, restaurants along the way, and cool Midwest sights to see.

Thursday, August 28th


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Hot Mess: A Pre-Pre-NACCC Warm Up: Saturday, August 16th


Our favorite kittens over at Cut Cats are throwing a little jammer to get you revved up for Cuttin Crew Classic/NACCC. Meet up at Eckhart Park (1330 W Chicago Ave) at 3:00 PM and get ready to rumble.

Remember, our alleycat, Pigeon Cat, is the next day! It’s a whole weekend of partying and we can’t wait to see everyone out on their bikes killing it.

The Facebook event is here, but you might not be able to see it. Facebook is weird and evil, I don’t know, that’s why we run a stupid separate blog about alleycats.

It’s summer, it’s friggin hot, and you can’t remember how many bottles of water you’ve drank since the start of your day. Time to take a break from your daily grind in the sweltering heat and race bikes in the sweltering heat. Don’t worry though, there will be lots of opportu…nities to cool down while in a race truly tuned to Chicago’s summer time.

Simple alleycat style with a few surprises here and there.

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